Am I an Empty Page

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Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:06 am

Title: Am I An Empty Page
Author: Michelle (me ofc.)
Chapters: In progress.
Rating: 14+
Disclaimer: I only own the story, nothing else. I don't own Dougie, Alex, Mike or anyone in general.
Dedication: Emelie, my Future Idiots nerd ^^,
A/N: Involves rape, sexy man sex, blood, alcohol, possible self harm in any form. That's what I know for now.
Pairings: Dougie Poynter/Alexander Persson & Mike Andersson/Alexander Persson

There's something new in this. This isn't only a McFly fic. In fact, I believe I'm only having little Dougster in it. The other two guys are Alexander Persson and Mike Andersson out of a swedish band called Future Idiots. Mwahah, that band comes from my city, and these two guys are at the moment working on my school. WIN.

Anyway, here's pictures of them;



Mike is in the first picture and Alex in the other one.
Sexy, aren't they? Well try to steal them xD xO

www.futureidiots.com
^if interested.
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:07 am

Intro.

Cold fingers travel along my arm. The weak cold makes me shiver and I smile weakly at the touch. But in some way I don’t understand, I am lonely, who would touch me? What person’s fingers ran along my arm so softly and carefully?

~
”There’s no one there.” Alex’s voice was unstable and shaky. His eyes were filled with fear, closed at the same time as he tiptoed over to his closet, the door shut.
In his chest his heart pounded fanatically, he was scared, nervous and unsure because of the fact that he continued to hear the scraping, hissing noise. Alex very well knew he could hallucinate often, but this was amazingly real. He had never experienced something so strong, so real. And he didn’t want to experience it either. It frightened him.

The man’s hand made contact with the cold metal handle. With a shaky breath and tears burning his eyes, he pressed down on it more and more until he could open the door.

:**
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by xcutexangelx on Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:10 am

Oooh,, nice intro..

_________________
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And the mood is right.
Music blarin' and the ladies are lookin' nice.
I'm lookin' good and you know it too.
So tell me why should I,
Fuck with you?



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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by Critical Acclaim on Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:07 am

Whyyyy did you stop there.... Question

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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:44 am

thank you both for reading (:

and Jat, i stopped because I am evil ;]

nah, first chapter will be up very soon (:
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by Critical Acclaim on Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:58 am

evil people person thingi

study

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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:57 am

Chapter 1.




“Alex!” Jewhan shouted up the stairs. He rolled his eyes as the guitarist refused to reply from his room. Jewhan knew Alex was asleep and he was partly sick of the hundred years it took to wake him up. Couldn’t have been fun to be his mother. “Alex, wake the fuck up man!” The second guitarist stomped up the stairs, groaning in annoyance as he ripped the door to the first room in the hall open. “It’s time to-,” His eyes were wide, his mouth gawping and his hand lost its contact with the cold door handle. “Alex?” Jewhan’s eyes travelled around the dark room. The curtains were covering the window, blocking the light of the sun out. Boiling warmth filled the room up, CD’s, DVD’s, magazine’s, clothes, posters, pillows and more things were hiding the floor. It was as if a bomb had exploded in the guitarist’s room.
Jewhan took a step into the room, carefully kicking away some of the items to create a way to walk further into the room.
”Alex? Alex, are you awake?” He pushed lightly on the body laying spread over the bed and he bit his lower lip gently as Alex didn’t react. “Dude, you’ve got to wake up now.”
His heart pounded madly in his chest. What if Alex was dead? What if he wouldn’t ever be able to mess around with him? What if something was terribly wrong but he wasn’t dead? What if…

Alex’s body was boiling warm. If it was because of the temperature in the dark room, Jewhan had no idea. But that must have meant that Alex wasn’t dead? If so, he wouldn’t have been so warm, right? Still Jewhan was shitting his pants out of worry.
He let out a shaky breath, placing his hands on the body on the bed and violently, fanatically and desperately he started shaking the guitarist, tears burning in his eyes.
”ALEX, FUCKING WAKE UP MAN!” he shouted and he let his body fall onto the bed, covering Alex’s by now moving form. “Oh my god, thank you, fucking wanker God…”
”What the hell… What do you think you’re doing?!” Alex groaned and he tried to escape the body, flipping it of off him. Confuse was ripping through him and he stared at the guitarist in front of him, who wiped the tears out of his eyes before he flung his arms around Alex. “What are you up to?”
”I thought… Oh god, Alex… I thought I had lost you…” Jewhan whimpered into the ear of the black haired guy who patted the worried man’s back with his eyebrows knitted together as he was still madly confused about what the hell was happening.


“What the hell are you on about? Please speak English so I do understand instead of blabbering on about something I don’t know.”
”I… You were just… You just laid there… And I thought you were… d-dead.”
”Oh come on, man. I’m not dead. You know I sleep deep. And besides, I was really tired so yeah… Nothing special. I wasn’t dead.” Alex rolled his eyes at Jewhan who looked around the room nervously. “What are you looking at?”
”Why are your room so… messy?” Jewhan looked unsurely at Alex, noticing how awkwardly he started to shuffle on the bed, his eyes darting around the room as he looked as if he had no intention of wanting to talk about something.
”Just leave it.” Alex muttered and he turned in his bed, pulling his covers over his own body in an attempt to shut Jewhan out. But that didn’t stop the worried man who stood next to the bed. Instead of leaving Alex, Jewhan crawled down next to him, pulling his half naked form close. “Please, leave it. Leave me. Thanks.”
”Alex, you know you can talk to me if something’s up. I’m here for you, and so are Mike and Kennie. We’re your band mates and your best friends, you know you can go to us.”


A wave of warmth washed through Alex and he felt loved, he felt close to Jewhan who nuzzled his head into Alex before he started to run a hand along Alex’s arm.
”Seriously, dude, we’re here for you.” Jewhan murmured.
”Nothing’s up.” Oh how Alex wished that was actually true.


:**
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by Critical Acclaim on Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:06 pm

oooh mystery cyclops
What's wrong with Aleeeeex...?

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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by xcutexangelx on Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:08 pm

Whaaat uup..??
I wanna know..

Post moore..

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I'm lookin' good and you know it too.
So tell me why should I,
Fuck with you?



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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:54 pm

moahah, we'll see later on what's wrong with Alex (:


Some more;


Chapter 2.

Please take me on a journey with the speed of light, through the pit of the dark, out in the light. Never let go of me, just hold on tight. That’s what I will do. Don’t leave me behind, don’t walk another way. I need you, I live on you.
Please don’t let me go, don’t let me fade.
Just hold onto me.


-



“Breakfast is waiting downstairs. Mike picked up some quick food to eat now before we’re off to the studio. You need to eat and get some energy.” Jewhan murmured and he ran a hand over Alex’s cheek. “Come on.”
Alex sighed loudly and heavily, clutching onto the bed sheets as his band mate started to pull in him . “I don’t want to go anywhere.” He sighed again and he looked pleadingly at Jewhan who stood up on the floor.
”Something’s wrong, Alexander and you better tell me now. Or I will go to your mother and tell her about when you were drunk and dressed as Mickey Mouse. And we both know what you did that night.” Jewhan smiled weakly and finally Alex gave in, letting his friend pull him up from the bed. “You’re shaking…”
The slightly smaller man shrugged and sighed before he pulled away from Jewhan. He picked his shirt up from the floor, pulling it on and he looked up at Jewhan with a sigh.
”Leave it.” He muttered. “I’m just cold, that’s all.” A fake smile plopped onto Alex’s dry lips and he attempted to make his way through his messy room, only to be held back by Jewhan who had an expression of worry spread across his otherwise smooth face.
”You sure?” Alex nodded. “Absolutely sure?” Once again Alex nodded and he ripped his shoulder away from Jewhan.
Alex knew it himself, that he was lying to one of his best friends.





Reaching the kitchen just a few minutes later, Alex nodded as a greeting to the two remaining band members who sat around the kitchen table.
Tiredly he walked over to them, picking the carton of milk up to take a sip out of it, not caring one second about the fact that someone would soon complain about that he was drinking straight out of the package. It couldn’t have bothered him less than it did.


“You okay?” Mike asked and he bit his lower lip lightly, his eyes focused on the pale guitarist who stared out in nothing, his breathing heavy as he clutched the carton in his hand. “Alex?” Mike slowly stood up from his chair, taking a careful step towards Alex who all of a sudden dropped the carton. The white liquid splashed out on the kitchen floor, running along it slowly.
”I feel sick…” Alex breathed out and in the matter of one second, Mike and Kennie catched the falling man in their arms. Alex was boiling warm, cold sweating and hyperventilating as his band mates hurriedly carried him into the living room that was next to the kitchen.


Mike’s hand ran along the sweaty forehead of the dizzy man and he looked down on Alex with worry-filled eyes. He had no idea what was going on with his band mate, but somehow he would find out. Alex wouldn’t be able to keep his secrets so very secret for a very long time, right?
”How are you feeling?” Jewhan asked and he placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder, his eyes staring right into Alex’s eyes before they travelled up on Kennie who stood next to Mike.
Alex mumbled something which the other three guys couldn’t understand. His eyes were filled with fright. They were faded, filled with sadness and worry.
He had no intentions of telling the guys why he felt like he did. He would keep it secret forever. Even though he did really trust his best friends, even though he did put his trust to them and even though he highly loved them.


:**
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by Critical Acclaim on Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:13 am

Aaaaaaahk! No!
What happened...?
You just don't fall, sweat and hyperventilate for nothiiiiiiing...
Suspect Tell what's up!

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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by xcutexangelx on Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:47 am

Come on..
What's going on..??

_________________
She's starin'
And the mood is right.
Music blarin' and the ladies are lookin' nice.
I'm lookin' good and you know it too.
So tell me why should I,
Fuck with you?



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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:15 am

haha, things will be explained in chapter three (: well not properly explained but yeah xP
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by Music* on Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:32 am

Shocked Oh my, what is wrong with him????? Shocked

More soon?

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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:54 am

woop, there's only a little thing mentioned but still xD

Chapter 3.

Pull me up from the dark hole. Cradle me close to your warm and comforting body, wrap your arms around me. Don’t leave me, I need you to help me.
Make my body grow warm by your love.

-



Alex’s eyes flickered open. If he had fallen asleep was something he didn’t know, all he really thought about was that his three band mates stood above him, their faces all wearing worried and nearly scared expressions.
He squirmed on the sofa, whimpering pathetically as pair of hands pressed him down.
To be there in the sofa, trapped as three strong men surrounded him and pinned him down, was something he didn’t want. But Alex knew he wouldn’t be able to actually escape them.
”Alex, seriously now, what is wrong?” Mike’s tone was stern but at the same time, it was soft as he spoke to the man who sunk back properly in the sofa, swallowing thickly to try and get the lump away, which filled his throat.
”Nothing.” Alex answered, the lump of crying on its way to burst and his eyes glazed with tears. “I’m fine.” Alex could see by the way Mike looked at him, that what he said was not believed. “Seriously, I’m fine.”
Jewhan looked over at Kennie, before his eyes rested on Mike. “You’re not okay.” Jewhan stated. “Fuck sake, man, we can see it on you. You just fucking passed out!”
The guitarist groaned in annoyance, rolling his eyes at his worried friends. He couldn’t believe that they actually just wouldn’t believe him when he said he was fine!
He knew it himself though, it wasn’t true. He didn’t feel fine, but he didn’t want to worry his best friends, they had no reason to know how he really felt, and what was happening.

For a long time Alex had been hallucinating. He had seen things that he didn’t want to see, horrible, frightening things. During the nights he often hid in a corner of his room, with a blanket covering him and his trembling body.
His eyes were shut as he sat there, trying to block out the ‘voices’ of the zombies that walked around in his dark and warm room. He could hear them, see them and he could feel their presence, but he was aware of the fact, in a way, that they were not real.
The part of it all which scared him the most, was when the zombies touched him, letting their hands rest on Alex’s body. He knew what they wanted him, they wanted him to be a part of them. They wanted him to turn into a zombie, ready to kill everything and everyone. Alex did try to not get so affected by it all, he told himself over and over again that it wasn’t real; it wasn’t true, it wasn’t happening.
It was only hallucinations.
He hoped.



“Alex… Come on…” Mike attempted and at the same time, he forced Alex up into a sitting position just so he could sit down next to the guitarist who immediately turned his head to the other side. Alex couldn’t face Mike, and that was something Mike knew. “Just please… Please try to tell me what is wrong so I can at least try to help you. I don’t want to see you looking so down and sad…” the bassist wrapped his arms around the slightly smaller man. Even if they were in the same age, born the same year, Alex was way shorter and smaller than Mike. Sure, Mike was tall and slim, but Alex was close to nearly tiny. Not that Mike hated that fact; he loved the fact that Alex was so small.
“Just leave me alone. I’m fine.” Alex half snapped and he pushed himself into the corner of the sofa, not wanting to be close to his band mates anymore.
”Alex-,”
”I’M FINE!”


:**
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by xcutexangelx on Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:17 am

Come on..
I wanna know more about those "hallucinations"


Mooooorrrrre.. Cool

_________________
She's starin'
And the mood is right.
Music blarin' and the ladies are lookin' nice.
I'm lookin' good and you know it too.
So tell me why should I,
Fuck with you?



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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by Critical Acclaim on Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:22 am

Ouch annoyed.
Hallucinating,,? That's not good,,
You gotta tell someone man...
even if it's a stranger.

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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:13 am

mwahaha Wink



i was going to update now, but when i opened the document the 4th chapter had somehow been deleted =/

i'll try to re-write it today ._.
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by it's attitude, baby on Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:47 am

everything in italics, are Alex telling. just so you know (:
italics = his pov.

Chapter 4.

I hold my arms out. Eyes are closed, heart thumping calmly as it should be. I smile to myself, what am I? An animal? Am I not supposed to be allowed access to freedom? Believe me, someday I will win over them, over me, over my mistakes, my wrongs and whatever is there to cut me into pieces. They’re not getting away without a fight.
And I will win that fight.

-




Alex’s eyes burned with anger. His body shook with rage and with a scream so full of the anger he felt mixed with the hurt, he struggled away from Mike. His arms were flailing, managing to hit Mike across his cheek as the smaller guitarist stumbled of off the sofa, escaping to his room, his sanctuary.

The three remaining band members looked at each other, all of them knowing there was no point in running after Alex. He would manage to shut and lock the door before they would reach his room though, that’s why they found no point in running after him, it was better to just let him run away and they could later on go and try to talk to him.
There was though, a small part of Mike that didn’t want to just go up to Alex’s room to bother him, to make him speak to him, simply by the fact Mike knew Alex would get angry, and since he highly loved Alex, he didn’t want any arguing or such.


”Maybe someone should go up and check on him?” Kennie sighed and he let his eyes travel across his band mates who were spread out on the living room floor, both Jewhan and Mike staring out in nothing, out through the window.
The sun was going down, the time was getting late and not a word had been heard from the second floor and Alex’s room.



Mike sighed quietly and softly, letting himself lay down on the floor properly and he placed his head in his shaking hands. “I don’t dare to.” He muttered, hardly audible for his best friends to hear. He really didn’t dare to go and check on Alex, he was so scared that something would go wrong, that they would turn into enemies if something actually wouldn’t go okay.

“I just hope he’ll be okay.” Jewhan sighed and he crawled over to Mike so he could wrap his arms around the brown haired bassist.
”Same here.” Mike nuzzled his head into Jewhan, inhaling the guitarist’s scent.

I squealed, muffled, my eyes darting around in panic as I felt the person straddling me tightening the restrains around my wrists that were attached to the headboard of my bed. I couldn’t properly see his face, but I knew it was a man and I knew something was going to happen, something bad.

He leant down, his alcohol breath hovering over my face and he laughed with a smirk before pressing his lips against mine, forcing his tongue past my lips.
”You’re mine now, Alex…” he said seductively as he pulled away to instead press some rag in my mouth to prevent me from screaming out for help, for someone to save me and get me out of this horrible event.

I was frightened, absolutely terrified. But yet again, I had no idea if this was actually real or if I was really just hallucinating. As many other things, it was too real to be my mind playing with me. It was so real that I thought I was going to explode out of fear of him murdering me.



His hand stroked my cheek and in a low, threatening and lust filled voice he whispered;

”Now be a nice boy and relax.”

:*
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by Critical Acclaim on Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:50 am

One word.

"Woah"

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Re: Am I an Empty Page

Post by xcutexangelx on Sat Jan 26, 2008 3:18 pm

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I can't get more over my lips than what she said..

_________________
She's starin'
And the mood is right.
Music blarin' and the ladies are lookin' nice.
I'm lookin' good and you know it too.
So tell me why should I,
Fuck with you?



BC13 motherfucker!
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Re: Am I an Empty Page

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